Posts Tagged ‘looking back’

looking back

May 11, 2008

Who knew that growing up would be a pain. Ah, actually we all do, right? Haha. But then again I didn’t anticipate all the physical pain that I’d be going through – I honestly thought it would suddenly sprout out the time I turn the golden age of 50. But no, as young as I am now (am 21 if you don’t know), I find myself worrying about pain management.

The obvious culprit is desk work. What, you thought that sitting and looking at the PC eight hours or more a day wouldn’t take a toll on you? Bullshit, dude. Haha

Again, I’m talking about my back. Friday, May 9, marked the day I had a needle poke my back. Funny thing is that my reaction when the needle hit me was to laugh. The syringe contained steroids to eliminate the  trigger point’s inflammation.

Every now and then when the pain nags at me at certain time of the day, I wonder if I had any worries about these in my past life. I know that once you age, your memories cover the unpleasant events that happened, especially on your early life. Yes, that’s why you thought your childhood is uber happy. Anyway, in my high school years, I remember the depression, the lack of confidence, the anger, the rebellion, the sickness (that even made me absent for a whole week) but I never remember any physical pain. On college, I remember backaches, waking up early in the morning to study, failing exams (HAHA), happiness, but NO PAIN! I could even write a story for couple of hours straight and not feel the urge to stand up and stretch or do anything whatsoever to distract myself.

Haha, I think I want to admit to myself now that stress has something to do with this.

I just wonder sometimes how it feels not to have my muscle spasming every now and then or having a bad stiff neck, stiff shoulders, butt aches… well, sigh. It would be great to have a pain-free day without having to drink Lagaflex, Celebrex, or Lyrica. The doctor advised me to drink these meds if I feel the pain, but I don’t want to be dependent. However, all the med-free remedies that I think of require effort. I think I’ll try to brush my laziness away for some time and put in some effort to relieve the pain.

It’s so nice to look back at how carefree life was when I was younger. I remember being 17 and wishing I wouldn’t step out from that age. I remember telling someone that my ideal age is 17 and I wouldn’t want to age more than that. But then again life interferes. I’m now 21. I’ll really dread the time I turn 30. For me, turning in an age like that requires a lot of courage HAHAHHAHA and pressure of course. (Like, when will you get married????)

As you age, complicated things bug your life. It’s all about you now. How would you make your life better? What would you do to improve your life? You have to work hard. You’re not playing around now. Be serious now, or life will screw you up. Also, what would you eat for dinner, for lunch? HAHA, it’s really tough! You can’t eat noodles for dinner or you’ll suffer the circumstances later in your life. You can’t eat a lot of fats, or, again, you’ll suffer in the future. A lot of responsibilities pile up which makes being an adult a hard thing to experience. There will be happiness, but certainly there would be worries. Worries about money – YES! Shit, what am I talking about? lol

I think it would be great if I step out of this adult shit for a while and experience being carefree again. I wonder when that would be.

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